Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
