those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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