Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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