i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
