Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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