wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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