I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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