I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
