What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
