i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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