Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
