idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Randomize
