it's great music for shaving your balls
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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