Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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