i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
