You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
