Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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