i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
