he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
