i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
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