My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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