ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
