just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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