Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
