Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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