I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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