I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
