Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize