What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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