Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
