I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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