I wanna passion pit in your ass
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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