I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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