I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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