walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
