i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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