wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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