Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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