Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
