Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
