Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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