Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
