we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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