You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
