maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
