Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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