The brown eye won't let me do that either.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
