I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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