I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
