Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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