this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
