Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
