I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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