wanna go halves on a baby?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
