He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.