Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
