Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
