so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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