Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
