The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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