is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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