sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
