Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
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