pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
