Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I party with great urgency now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
