You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
