So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
