I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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