Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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