i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
