If i come over, it means nothing
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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