I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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